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"But he keeps bringing it up, and I keep putting him off." "Are you afraid that you're going to lose him?" I questioned. She sighed again, and took a sip of coffee. "It's not that. Not really. It's just that...I have too many doubts. About him...about myself." "What sort of doubts?" I asked. "Oh...if he's just looking for a wife. Someone just to fill in...to do things for him." I could see what she meant. "And I have doubts about myself," she said. "Like what?" Mom gave me a kind of chiding smirk. "Well...it's been a long time since I've been with a man. I mean, really been with a man." I grinned. "You mean that you and him ..." I let the rest of the ques ton go. It was a little embarrassing asking my mother about her sex life. "No. We haven't," she admitted, but upfront about the issue. "Oh," I said simply, trying not to make an issue out of it one way or the other. "And I just don't know how it would be with him. How it would be with anybody," she said. "I'm older now. I don't know. The more business meant more tips, and the way I felt that day, I knew I was going to be getting some good tips. I had learned that the more I flirted the bigger the tip, and that Saturday I was feeling sexually and emotionally deprived. I felt like a puppeteer and the men in the bar were my puppets. I was definitely in rare form that day. I swung my hips a little more than usual and could see the men watching as my butt swung back and forth. Every guy I waited on, I would touch. Either their hand or shoulder and I would give a gently squeeze and then a wink when I walked off. I knew my actions were having an effect on them, because they were having an effect on me. My actions had also caught Drew’s attention. He pulled me into the kitchen and asked me if I was okay. I assured him I was and that I was just feeling perky. He told me to be careful, and let me go back to work. He should have given me a raise that day, because guys were drinking more than normal, just to get my special.
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